gotta fill up the whole cup...

this day started out like no other day. i had interviewed with a grocery company here in town about a night position and i guess everything went good because today as i went in for the 3rd interview, it turned out it wasn't a interview at all. they just needed me to sign off for them to run a back ground check and a drug test. so i sign off for a background check, and she hands me the slip to take the the testing company. "oh and you have to do it within 24 hours" she says, so in other words, do it now. so i drive slightly across town (to the medical center)and my brother drops me off. he has to go get his work clothes from his gf's house. ok, no problem. i just go do the test, and he will pick me back up on the way back. no problem. easy. so i sign in and sit while they fill out the paper work and all that medical stuff. this is a medical building, and i hate medical buildings. too many bad memories of hospitals and medical buildings. the cold, sterile feel of it, just yuck. so anyways, i am told i have to take everything out of my pockets, and then the nurse hands me the cup to fill. "try to fill up the whole cup" she says. i smile and nodd and proceed to make my way into the bathroom. so as i unzip, ready to do my best cup filling, nothing happens. nope, nothing. i sat there for a few minutes, trying to will myself, using every jedi mind trick i could think of to fill this cup, but it was no use. no use, because no juice. so as i buckled up and walked out i had to tell the lady that i just didn't have to go. i asked her if she had any water, and she smiled and went around the corner and brought back a bottle water. So as I stood in the lobby drinking my water I finished off the first bottle. But no tingle, no pressure from the nether region. So downed another bottled water. Still nothing. At about 4 1/2 bottled waters, finally something down there woke up. So as I made my way back in there, my stomach hurting from the onslaught of water it had just endured, the nurse still smiling at me, I once again closed the bathroom door and attempted it. The minutes went by with nothing still. Dry as a bone. It was quiet, much like I imagine death valley is. I waited and waited, until finally, I waited no more. As if the floodgates of heaven had been opened, much as how I imagine the water flowed after Moses struck the crag, the mighty river Robbie was unleashed. Fill the cup? Ha! I think I could have filled a stadium! I think the sheer power and amount alone could have leveled a small village. So as I stood there, with my cup fully filled I smiled in my glory. I buckled once again, and made my way way back out, handing the fully filled holy grail to the nurse. She laughed, and said that I guess I just needed some help. Help? Look lady, its not like I'm a old man, like a guy who needs medication or some sort or boost. It's not like I have what is nowadays known as Erectile Dysfunction, and can't preform when i need to. It's not like that at all. I just needed to piss in a cup, and I hadn't drank enough to fill my bladder. Maybe it was cause I have been working out, and since all i drink now is water, my body is used to taking in a lot of it without having to run to the bathroom. Don't hate me because I have a strong bladder, and a tough stomach. Just be glad I filled the stupid cup, and smile and laugh to yourself.