things are changing once again...

so as you can expect things are changing in my life. again. for the thousandth time. it seems that I have applied for every job out there, and still have not heard from anyone. I'm starting to think that no one wants to hire me. do i smell funny? do i look malnourished? whatever the case, my phone remains silent with no calls. so now as the year goes by, and we have probably a month or two more of summer, my thoughts head north. or I have thoughts of heading north. it's still uncertain and undecided, but the thought is there. with the everything that has happened in the last couple weeks (which only a select few have knowledge of) the thoughts of leaving San Antonio have come into mind. I don't know if this was the last straw, I don't know if this made my decision for me, but whatever the case the thought of escape has been put to the front once again. ive tried to make life simple here, and for a time they were, but now things again have gone awry. I wish life wasn't always like this with me, but this is what I have been dealt. this crazy life I live, it makes me laugh with everything that comes my way. I wonder what's next. It's funny to me, just reminds me of a old Willie Nelson song.

When the evenin' sun goes down
You will find me hangin' 'round
Oh, the night life, it ain't no good life
But it's my life

Many people just like me
Dreamin' of old used-to-be's
Oh, the night life, it ain't no good life
Ah, but it's my life

Listen to the blues that they're playin'
Listen what the blues are sayin'

Life is just another scene
In this old world of broken dreams
Oh, the night life, it ain't no good life
But it's my life

Oh, the night life ain't no good life
Oh, but it's my life

Yeah, it's my life