Mas Campanas?

Disclaimer: This Post is about kids. I understand that some of you might not share the same viewpoint on kids as I do, but that does not make my viewpoint wrong.

Ok, so that sounded like I was going to say a bunch of bad things about kids right? Wrong! I actually am not going too. But lately (for some strange reason) I have been thinking about kids. I don't mean in a "Michael Jackson" kind of way, I mean in the way that I might possibly have some someday. Ok, now everyone slowly get up off the floor, slap yourself around a bit, and realize what I just said. Yes, I have thought about having kids. Keyword: THOUGHT. I can't really pinpoint the exact reason I have been slightly thinking about that, but I know this weekend it kind of crept up on me from the dark corners of my mind. See I was sitting behind a girl who had a baby, and really cute on at that. And the baby, just kept looking at me! With his big brown eyes he just stared me down, like a lion to it's prey. And to my suprise what did I do? I smiled. He smiled and laughed, which in turn made me laugh. It was sort of strange actually. I have friends with babies, and for the most part, most of them look at me and turn away, or just start to cry. Sometimes they look at me and almost don't even notice me, like when you hold a cat in a mirror. They just glare into space, as if your not even there. But not this baby. This baby looked at me, and continued to look at me, and laugh and smile. And somewhere deep down, something found that nice. Somewhere the thought came up in my mind, how it would be to someday have a son or a daughter who would look at me that way, and bring a smile to my face. I've known all along, but then I realized just how babies are a joy to their parents. They poop, they scream, they bite and kick, but that's part of their appeal. Like I said, this is a strange territory for me. In the past I have never really comtemplated having any kids, why? I can't really say. I guess I have always thought it is too much responsiblity, and it's something I just wouldn't want to take on. Getting married and having a wife is enough for me, to add a little munchkin on top of that would just be too much. Maybe its because my sister has no children, and now that my brother is married, I doubt he will have any children either. I have always looked as having children as being a negative thing, not saying they are all little brats that bring stress and hardship, but just the fact that they are too much for me too handle. But I guess living with my cousin's now and having their daughter around, my outlook has changed a bit. I would have to say, that kids, although bratty and possibly a pain in the but, are a blessing. It's just sad that kids have to live in a crazy world these days, which would be another reason why I wouldn't want to have any right away. I think about that, and I just think of that little baby, his smiling at me, and how when he did, all my problems seemed to mean jack. It's funny how something simple as a baby (who isnt even yours) can do that to you? I can't imagine the feeling of looking down a infant, knowing that it's part of me. I cannot phathom that. I guess it's because I don't really look like anyone. The reason why I say that is because my parents are both deceased, so if someone meets me for the first time and didnt know my parents, they cannot say things like "oh you resemble your mom" or "you have your dad's eyes" because they have nothing to go off of. They can compare my brother and my sister to me, but other then that, they don't have the original artwork (my parents) to see how I resemble them. So to me, when I look in the mirror, I resemble me. I look like me, and no one else. But if I was too have a kid, and lets say he comes out with my nose or my eye color or facial structure, that would be a very strange yet exciting thing to me. This kid resembles me? This kid is part of me? I for some reason just can't get over that notion. It's almost like a little clone! That fact itself would just blow my mind, and then if it started thinking and acting like me! Watch out world! So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not so much against the fact of having kids anymore. I realize it's a huge responsiblity, something you can't ever take lightly. I realize even though they seem like a burden, and I question why people do have them, they can be a huge joy, a huge positive in a world that's only negative. So will I have kids? I don't know for sure. That is yet to be discovered. But needless to say, the world is a safer place for now, now that I haven't procreated.