things are changing once again...

so as you can expect things are changing in my life. again. for the thousandth time. it seems that I have applied for every job out there, and still have not heard from anyone. I'm starting to think that no one wants to hire me. do i smell funny? do i look malnourished? whatever the case, my phone remains silent with no calls. so now as the year goes by, and we have probably a month or two more of summer, my thoughts head north. or I have thoughts of heading north. it's still uncertain and undecided, but the thought is there. with the everything that has happened in the last couple weeks (which only a select few have knowledge of) the thoughts of leaving San Antonio have come into mind. I don't know if this was the last straw, I don't know if this made my decision for me, but whatever the case the thought of escape has been put to the front once again. ive tried to make life simple here, and for a time they were, but now things again have gone awry. I wish life wasn't always like this with me, but this is what I have been dealt. this crazy life I live, it makes me laugh with everything that comes my way. I wonder what's next. It's funny to me, just reminds me of a old Willie Nelson song.

When the evenin' sun goes down
You will find me hangin' 'round
Oh, the night life, it ain't no good life
But it's my life

Many people just like me
Dreamin' of old used-to-be's
Oh, the night life, it ain't no good life
Ah, but it's my life

Listen to the blues that they're playin'
Listen what the blues are sayin'

Life is just another scene
In this old world of broken dreams
Oh, the night life, it ain't no good life
But it's my life

Oh, the night life ain't no good life
Oh, but it's my life

Yeah, it's my life

as i laid my head down to sleep
I prayed the lord, these thoughts do keep,
take the burden and let me be,
close my eyes peacefully,

let things work, how you want,
and remind me to never flaunt,
those things that I dont want to be,
those things that mean nothing to me,

the money, cars, house and strife,
just isn't what i want in life,
i want simplicity, in the truest kind,
i want you to direct my mind,

and as the time continues on,
with friends and foes, that now are gone,
i ask for more, in this time of less,
help me give you something,
that you can finally bless.

Johnny Depp Test

You Are Sam From "Benny & Joon." You are very talented at physical comedy. People are in awe of your abilities. However, you have many quirks which can either win people over or completely annoy them. But you're a sweetheart through and through, and it's hard not to love you.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

Wedding Pics

Here Finally!! Here are some pics (although not many of me) from the wedding. I hopefully will get some more, so I can keep you heathens happy!!

Bride and Groom Eating their Cake

 


Sully, Leti (the bride) and Sully's Sister Gaby

 


Same Girls with my brother Kevin (the Groom)

 


My Sister dancing with Kids, and Me (back turned) dancing with Gaby SEE I DO DANCE!!

 


Sierra, My Cousin Ariel, Me, My Aunt Sonia being a nerd

 


Joel, Karah, Me, Matt (in red) and my cousin's husband Eric

 


Tommy (my bro in law), my sis Lisa, Leti, Kevin, and Me

 


All us again

 


All Us #3

 


More on the way!

New Day, New Week, New Start....

Well it's done. My brother's wedding went off without a hitch. It actually was a very elegant yet simple wedding. I would say no more then 100 people attended the reception, which was very, very nice. It was at The Dominion afterall. Dinner was actually very good, a chicken dish with veggies, bread, water or wine. Plus they had a cash bar, so if you wanted some bubbly or a cold cerveza you could. The music (which myself and matt were responsible for) went great, and everyone seemed to enjoy the selection. Everyone danced for hours, yes, including myself. Actually being the only "single" male there I actually quite the selection of dance partners. I tried to level out the playing field though, dancing with each female once. It was pretty funny though, all the guys were married! The closest single guy isn't even going to be single for much longer. His marriage being scheduled for September. So besides him, I was the only unmarried man there. And speaking of myself, I was feeling good myself. I had my new black suit on, my new shirt and tie and shoes on with it. Well basically everything I had on was new besides my watch and undershirt. Suprisingly I was having a good hair day and it styled the right way the first time I tried. So with styled hair, new clothes and a good amount of cologne (had to smell good) I had a good time. Most of the time I was running around making sure everyone was having a good time, but I found some time to dance and act a fool.

And as some of you might be curious to know, "she" was there. Well her and her sister Gaby. They actually got there late and missed dinner, because they had to drive from Houston. They actually both looked very nice (Gaby a little better actually) and I got to dance with each one. I would have to admit the dance with Gaby was a better, us laughing and talking the entire way through. The dance with Sully was ok, we talked a bit, but of course it was not the same as before. I guess the days of me and her being so close are finally gone. And good riddance. I would have to say that when I was dancing with her I felt 0% emotion when I was dancing with her. No old memories kicked in, no feelings for her came back, nothing. She was just a girl I knew, a memory. And that was great. I wasn't angry with her, I wasn't uncomfortable that she was there, if anything I was happy she was. When I asked her to dance she seemed a bit suprised as if I wasn't going to ask her. But of course, what kind of guy would I be to not dance with her? If I can't put the past behind me and let it all go, then how can I move on with the future? She didn't actually speak to me much, just a bit here and there. And that's perfectly fine with me. The friendship is in her hands now. I used to try and try, and now that I'm not trying, the true motives and the effort that she really shows is visible. So if we don't talk, it's not because of me being a butthead. It's funny how it all works out isn't it? And it really has.

So now as my brother is married, I am truly the last one. The last single man in the family. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I heard "your next!" that night. And am I next? Maybe. But it will be a while still. So as my apartment is quiet, and there is just me, I look for brighter days ahead. I hope my brother and his new wife are happy, they deserve to be. And as for me, life continues as usual.

P.S. Pictures are coming soon.

Ok I'm Tagged, I'm tagged!

10 years ago... I was 15. I had met my first gilfriend Alison Krajca and proceeded to get my first kiss under a bridge downtown San Antonio. Not too long after I proceeded to receive my second first kiss. Which was imported from France.

5 years ago... I was in Europe in the beginning of the year. Not to long after that my dad passed away. Not too suprising, considering he was a smoker, a drinker and just about everything else. It was closure though. An end I knew would be coming.

1 year ago... I was still working at the Help Desk, desperately awaiting my approaching vacation that August. I also started Blogger last year. If you want you can go back and read. You'll notice I had 0 comments for the longest time. Now I actually have people who read this, all thanks to Veronica.

Yesterday... I went downtown to the riverwalk with my family. They are all in town because of my brother's wedding.

Today... I just cleaned my apartment and came over to the my sister's house to help set up for the family dinner tonight. I also had to help pull the leaves off roses for the table flower arrangements.

Tomorrow... will be my brother's wedding. Have my suit and tie and shoes ready. Not nervous. Will see "her" for the first time since April. Not nervous about that either.

5 snacks I enjoy... Oreo "Uh-Oh"s Cookies, Wheat Thins Chips, Zebra Cakes, Mexican Doritos, Cheetos.

5 songs I know all the words to... Song #15, Sad Songs and Waltzes, Alpha-Beta Parking Lot, Everlong, Obscurred.

5 reality television shows I watch... watched American Idol once, The Real World, Road Rules, Real World VS Road Rules, The Contender.

5 television shows I watch daily... (or as much as possible) American Chopper, Smallville (occasionally) Great American Bike Build Off. I don't watch much TV honestly.

5 things I would do with $100,000,000... But a house here, Buy a house in Vallarta, a new car, give money to my family, travel.

5 locations I would love to run away to... Vallarta, Cannon Beach, London, Mexico City, Scotland.

5 things I like doing... writing, blogging, playing b-ball, driving, traveling.

5 things I would never wear... a thong, speedo, my collar "popped", socks with sandals, a wedding ring (hehe).

5 recently seen movies I like... Batman Begins, Hellboy, Napoleon Dynamite, War of the Worlds, Three Amigos.

5 famous people I'd like to meet... Willie Nelson, Salma Hayek, Michael Jordan, John McCrea, Jesus.

5 biggest joys of the moment... weight loss, family, clear conscience, new suit, unemployment.

5 people to tag...Steph, Apryl, Mike, Jen, Vero.