Saturday, January 15, 2005
Technical Difficulties
well according to some, my blog wasn't displaying correctly on some browsers, so I've decided to change to a simple template for now. I will work out the kinks in the one I had to practically customize MYSELF, and when it's ready I will relaunch it. I have the HTML saved after all, so don't think you getting off that easy! As you can see I've started writing (or copying and pasting, as most of its already written) this story. I would like people to be able to read it freely and easily, and I fear my HTML problems could impair this. So I picked the easiest template, so no one misses a beat. Hope you all enjoy it, because I lived it. Stay tuned on Monday for Part 2. For now, Goodnight to all.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Waterdrops on the screen
Run down your fingers like dew
Sunset; ill never forget
Because it given from me to you.
Time, time, it heals the wound
Closes the angst and frustration
Wind blows,and yes i dont know
Why the self-inflicted complication
The words came with time
The patience tried to come then
And the sky, just passed me by,
Before i could even say when.
And the sky
Yes thats my friend
It was always there for me
It helped me see what i was
And in the end let me be.
Run down your fingers like dew
Sunset; ill never forget
Because it given from me to you.
Time, time, it heals the wound
Closes the angst and frustration
Wind blows,and yes i dont know
Why the self-inflicted complication
The words came with time
The patience tried to come then
And the sky, just passed me by,
Before i could even say when.
And the sky
Yes thats my friend
It was always there for me
It helped me see what i was
And in the end let me be.
all the songs that i've sung you
more often then you know
cause your the low that i've come to
more often then i've let it show
and i wish you would leave me
and i wish you would go
and i wish you didn't need me
and i wish i didn't love you so,
cause i just can't go on
so please don't do me wrong
no i won't do you harm
my love for you goes on and on.
there's no one else i want beside you
give me your coldest shoulder to cry upon
your never anywhere i find you
your never anything i rely upon
And I wish you would leave me
And I wish you would go
And I wish you didn't need me
And I wish I didn't know
That I just can't go on
So please don't do me wrong
No I won't do you harm
My love for you goes on and on
No I just can't go on
So please don't do me wrong
No I won't do you harm
My love....goes on and on.
more often then you know
cause your the low that i've come to
more often then i've let it show
and i wish you would leave me
and i wish you would go
and i wish you didn't need me
and i wish i didn't love you so,
cause i just can't go on
so please don't do me wrong
no i won't do you harm
my love for you goes on and on.
there's no one else i want beside you
give me your coldest shoulder to cry upon
your never anywhere i find you
your never anything i rely upon
And I wish you would leave me
And I wish you would go
And I wish you didn't need me
And I wish I didn't know
That I just can't go on
So please don't do me wrong
No I won't do you harm
My love for you goes on and on
No I just can't go on
So please don't do me wrong
No I won't do you harm
My love....goes on and on.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
well as you can see, I have changed this thing yet again! don't get me wrong, i really did like the billy joe picture, but ofcouse this one is better. i love this picture. i have it on the wall in my living room. it's a huge one too, takes up most of the wall. i remember when i was in paris, i wanted to go stand next to the place where these two were. next to the lightpost. but ofcourse I ended up walking completely the wrong way, and didn't feel like walking back. someday i will go back to the hotel de ville, and stand there. maybe i will have my wife with me. we can be one of the i'm sure millions who have thought to kiss in that direct spot. and i will just have to be one of those millions. call it romantic, call it retarded, call it dorky, but hey, that's just me. for those who know me, it's pretty ironic how i picked this template. or maybe it's just funny to me. see i never really like tons of color. now don't get me wrong, i'm not like a depressed individual who only likes black, but i just have never been into bright colors (except in the 80's ofcourse). As I got older, I was into a more industrial look, and what i mean is like my clothing, and my room. If I had a house back then, it would have been very industrial, with stainless steal and metal tables, with black furniture. all my pictures were only black and white. i like that stuff back then. I hated wood, i hated earthy stuff. But as I got older, and I visted Vallarta that one spring, I slowly changed my mind. Green started to come into my visual palate. Suddenly I found myself buying tropical, more colorful comforters for my bed. I shyed away from the cold metal and greyness. Even the way I dressed changed. No more black and navy blue all the time, now yellow, and red, and baby blue. it was strange to me. and i liked it. i remember i even went to the lengths to buy a bamboo lamp, and had bamboo roll up blinds on my windows. i traded my metal silver queen sized bed, for a twin bed with a tropical feel to it. It was definately the mexican coming out in me. That trip to Vallarta changed me. In good ways and bad. But now I've changed again. I'm not back to the cold metallic me, but I'm not the crazy tropical me either. I'm lost somewhere in between. I remember going to Pier 1 Imports with my brother and his gf and thinking, this stuff is crazy! Over my many trips to Mexico, I had seen much of the same stuff for ten times cheaper! And it was made right there by some little old man! I remember laughing to myself, these rich people! How they pay and waste so much money, on what? to make it seem like they live in a hut! they decorate like they are poor and live in a third world country! How silly that seemed to me. I vowed to never be like that. Never to have my things in a way that I forget who I really am, or where I really come from. So now, I am in between. Now my thing is simplicity. All I have ever wanted was a simple life, but yet it never works out like that. I think about it now, and I don't even remember how a simple life is lived? But now in everything, I try for simplicity. I'm a minimalist in a way. The less the better. Even though it seems like I have too much of everything. So I guess that's what's ironic. The template I have picked is very simple. Too Simple to some. Not a lot of color, but some. A switch from the old one which was along the lines of the Mexican flavor. I think as I get older, I will come to know what I really want. In life, in love, in my blog template. For now, I just wait and wonder what will the future bring, and who will I be kissing next to that light post.
like what i've done with the place?
well as you can tell, i've redecorated the place a bit. you like? well i'm still fine tuning, i had to pretty much figure out all the html to add & show comments, and archives, and just about everything. what a pain! but i guess i needed to study up on my html anyways. i remember now why i hated it back then! all the code, the numbers and letters and symbols, the fact that one little misplaced character can screw it all up. ahh!! but i'm glad this is coming along, i'll get to fine tuning it tomorrow. or today i should say. well im tired now, so it's time to get some mimi's. adios everyone, hope all is well.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Late Night Plugs
well here i am again. i'm just not sleepy yet. the internet can get quite boring at almost 2 am. i seem to be checking my email every 3 minutes, as if i'm suddenly going to get a meaningful email. well i got one. from a cousin. well it wasn't necessarily like a personal email, but still it was cool to hear from her. see she is a musician. yup, and she's like super talented too. she's what they call a singer/songwriter, which means she writes, arranges and preforms all her own stuff. and it's pretty darn good too. she's got a great guitar skills and a nice voice to go along with it. and she's like big time, like on the verge of the big TRL and all that. she's already been on star search and i think was picked to be on the american idol (which she turned down). i've yet to see her preform though, well on a big stage that is. i remember listening to her play Pachelbel's Canon on the violin, and she just blew me away. so now she's moved onto the guitar and is going to be a big rock star and all that. which is cool, cause then i can brag that i'm related, which no one will ever believe. i remember playing basketball with her in the backyard! she actually was pretty good at that too, almost beat me! like i said, when she gets all famous and stuff no one will believe me. but that's ok, i know it's true. ok, well enough plugging for one night, but hey it's mi familia ok? and i hope i didn't taint her image, but for real, she really does rock. like rawk, RAWK. anyways, check out her site: www.viccimartinez.com it's way better then little ol' me could describe. buy her cd, go to her shows, heck buy her dinner! we all need to eat! ok, well i'm tired now, so i'm gonna head downstairs to my lovely bed. Goodnight!
Monday, January 10, 2005
Random Meaningless Pictures
Here's some photo's I've held onto over the years. For reasons unknown even to me.
That's where he's been.
That's where he's been.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
The End of the Universe
"...and if you walk to the end of the block, there sits a Starbucks. And directly across the street -- in the exact same building as that Starbucks -- there is... another Starbucks. There is a Starbucks across the street from a Starbucks! And ladies and gentlemen, THAT is the end of the universe." - Lewis Black
this is a post I've been wanting to do for a while now. i was watching Lewis Black the other day and heard this. I was laughing so hard. I figured I would check this phenomenon out on the net, and lo and and behold someone had investigated his claim, and yes, proved it true. Here is the documented photographic proof. Can you imagine this? A Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks? Why? What possible reason can they possibly have for doing this? Just for the heck of it? I'm can understand that Starbucks is a franchise, and have many different owners. But did these two owners actually consciously decide to do this? Did they team up and say, "hey you know what would be funny?!" Why? Why people, why?!! Do the citizens of Houston love coffee so bad that they need to have one on every corner of the street? And Lewis Black stated that only one type of people will ever benefit from this. Who you might say? People with Alzheimer's. How you might ask? Imagine Grandpa driving down the street. It's a cold morning, and he hasn't had his morning cup. Hey how about we pull off and have your warm morning fix. 45 Minutes later, he exits the shop. As the cold winds hits his face he gets a chill down his spine. As he walks to his car, he glances across the street. This is when the Alzheimer's kicks in. There it is, in all it's glory, another Starbucks. Does he laugh to himself? Does he get in his car and continue along on his merry way? Does he question WHY there is a exact same starbucks across the street? No. He thinks, "man it sure is cold out here, I could go for a warm cup of joe." WHAT!!!!! WHY!!!! As so he goes, to other side for a warm cup of joe on this cold winter's day. And so the cycle goes on, and on, and on. Poor Grandpa, stuck in the cycle of the evil starbuck owners, each one sucking him in with their tractor beams of moccachoccalattetheyarethedevilfrappuccinogrande.
(click on picture for bigger view)
Now folks, don't blame me for this. Now this is a evil that not even i can dream up. I'm not a avid coffee drinker. As a matter of fact, I hardly drink the stuff. And I am not out to poke fun at Alzheimers sufferers. That is not my intention. My only intention is just to pass on the information that Mr. Black has come across himself. The REAL enemy ladies and gentlemen, is the owner's of the starbucks. And, maybe the zoner for this part of houston. They HAD to know this was going to happen. Who let this occur? Who's Responsible? For now the names will go unknown, the approvers of this will get away. Considering I myself don't live to far from Houston, and I plan to make a couple more trips there in the near future, I will myself go to see this with my own eyes. Maybe if I stand directly between them I will be beamed to another dimension or some far way galaxy and nebula? Impossible? Sound far fetched? That's what they said to Columbus! That's what they whispered behind the Wright Brother's back! And yes that's they said when Lewis Black first brought this to the public. And look at that outcome! Until then friends, I beg you, be careful, be watchful. For we never know now where these developers are planning their next starbucks attack. Put the Terror Level Scale at Red, go to DEFCON (DEFense CONdition) numero 1. None of us are safe.
this is a post I've been wanting to do for a while now. i was watching Lewis Black the other day and heard this. I was laughing so hard. I figured I would check this phenomenon out on the net, and lo and and behold someone had investigated his claim, and yes, proved it true. Here is the documented photographic proof. Can you imagine this? A Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks? Why? What possible reason can they possibly have for doing this? Just for the heck of it? I'm can understand that Starbucks is a franchise, and have many different owners. But did these two owners actually consciously decide to do this? Did they team up and say, "hey you know what would be funny?!" Why? Why people, why?!! Do the citizens of Houston love coffee so bad that they need to have one on every corner of the street? And Lewis Black stated that only one type of people will ever benefit from this. Who you might say? People with Alzheimer's. How you might ask? Imagine Grandpa driving down the street. It's a cold morning, and he hasn't had his morning cup. Hey how about we pull off and have your warm morning fix. 45 Minutes later, he exits the shop. As the cold winds hits his face he gets a chill down his spine. As he walks to his car, he glances across the street. This is when the Alzheimer's kicks in. There it is, in all it's glory, another Starbucks. Does he laugh to himself? Does he get in his car and continue along on his merry way? Does he question WHY there is a exact same starbucks across the street? No. He thinks, "man it sure is cold out here, I could go for a warm cup of joe." WHAT!!!!! WHY!!!! As so he goes, to other side for a warm cup of joe on this cold winter's day. And so the cycle goes on, and on, and on. Poor Grandpa, stuck in the cycle of the evil starbuck owners, each one sucking him in with their tractor beams of moccachoccalattetheyarethedevilfrappuccinogrande.
(click on picture for bigger view)
Now folks, don't blame me for this. Now this is a evil that not even i can dream up. I'm not a avid coffee drinker. As a matter of fact, I hardly drink the stuff. And I am not out to poke fun at Alzheimers sufferers. That is not my intention. My only intention is just to pass on the information that Mr. Black has come across himself. The REAL enemy ladies and gentlemen, is the owner's of the starbucks. And, maybe the zoner for this part of houston. They HAD to know this was going to happen. Who let this occur? Who's Responsible? For now the names will go unknown, the approvers of this will get away. Considering I myself don't live to far from Houston, and I plan to make a couple more trips there in the near future, I will myself go to see this with my own eyes. Maybe if I stand directly between them I will be beamed to another dimension or some far way galaxy and nebula? Impossible? Sound far fetched? That's what they said to Columbus! That's what they whispered behind the Wright Brother's back! And yes that's they said when Lewis Black first brought this to the public. And look at that outcome! Until then friends, I beg you, be careful, be watchful. For we never know now where these developers are planning their next starbucks attack. Put the Terror Level Scale at Red, go to DEFCON (DEFense CONdition) numero 1. None of us are safe.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
drums, exercise, espanol and her
well it's friday night, and i feel like it's sunday night. i guess now my days just blend together, and I lose track of exactly what day of the week it is. i wish it was already monday. i want this week to go by as soon as possible. i've been thinking about things. i decided that while i have this "free" time, i want to try and do somethings i have always wanted to do. learn things I have always wanted to learn, but never had the time for them. here's some listed.
i want to learn the drums: i have this thing inside me that for some reason needs to play the drums. im constantly tapping out beats and keeping the rythm of songs. i can't stop. i think my steering wheel will soon take a restraining order out on me, because i beat it so hard. i had drums once, a nice black Mapex set. but I didn't have the formal training. some people have told me, oh i learned on my own, and that's great. but i'm not them. i prefer a measure of formal training, and then I'll go experiment and figure it out. i just always feel the need keep a beat, keep a pace, to have those sticks in my hand beating out my frustrations. how i envy those drummers, who can take out their pains on the skins instead on of the people who cause them. i will somedaybe a person like that.
i want to lose some weight: this is a common thing to most people. most people tell me i look ok, and I'm not OVERweight, so i shouldn't lose any. sure im not 300 pounds, im not even close. but i'm too heavy for me. i know my body, i know where i should be. working out is a conscience effort that requires discipline. that's the hardest part, disciplining your mind to love exercise. there are people out there who love to exercise, but they are already thin for the most part. i dont know too many fat, chubby people who like to do crunches or jog a few miles. exercise is not fun. but it essential. i have to make it essential again. years ago i was doing so well, i was so thin and fit, i could compete with others in basketball and not feel like i was going to have a heart attack on the court. i felt great back then. i want to feel that way again. it's not going to be easy, but it's possible, it just depends on how much i make myself believe that. and she doesn't help too much. i dont mean that in a bad way, but she says she likes me the way i am, which is great. but i know i can be better, i know i can be what I want to be. and I'm sure she will like me even more then. if not, then she can make me tons of food and get me fat again.
learn spanish: this is the highest priority. this should have been the first one. i have family in mexico i can't even speak to because i don't speak spanish. i have her, and her sister (who speaks good english) and her mom and her dad. her mom understands english and can speak it quite well, but i wish i could speak with her in spanish. her dad doesn't speak any english. we know each other, we get along good, and are friends, but we are strangers. he knows only what i can grunt and point at. how do i say i love your daughter using grunts and points? i fear he would think i'm insulting me and sick the saber tooth tiger on me. i need to learn, i have no choice. i've attempted before, but i need to learn now. i need to get over this stupid fear i have. fear that I will sound stupid, that she will laugh when i try to speak. but she will laugh, but it will be because of joy. i know this. if i learned spanish you would have to pick her up off the floor because she wouldn't believe it. i feel selfish for that. she tries so hard to understand, she asks me questions and wants me to tutor her in my language. and it seems i have no interest whatsoever of hers. but i have to realize it's mine too. i speak it everyday. i even think in spanish on occasion. when something happens the first word that comes to my mind and out of my out is in spanish. i know i have it in me. it's the luangage of my mother. it's where's she's from, what she knew growing up. i feel guilty for not learning, because I know she would have wanted me too. i can't even speak much with my own grandma because of the language barrier. can u imagine if i me and her get married? i need to learn, no i HAVE to learn. no exception on this one.
well those are all i can think about tonight. so many things i want to do though. hopefully if all things go well (which is a fat chance) i will. goodnight to all out there.
i want to learn the drums: i have this thing inside me that for some reason needs to play the drums. im constantly tapping out beats and keeping the rythm of songs. i can't stop. i think my steering wheel will soon take a restraining order out on me, because i beat it so hard. i had drums once, a nice black Mapex set. but I didn't have the formal training. some people have told me, oh i learned on my own, and that's great. but i'm not them. i prefer a measure of formal training, and then I'll go experiment and figure it out. i just always feel the need keep a beat, keep a pace, to have those sticks in my hand beating out my frustrations. how i envy those drummers, who can take out their pains on the skins instead on of the people who cause them. i will somedaybe a person like that.
i want to lose some weight: this is a common thing to most people. most people tell me i look ok, and I'm not OVERweight, so i shouldn't lose any. sure im not 300 pounds, im not even close. but i'm too heavy for me. i know my body, i know where i should be. working out is a conscience effort that requires discipline. that's the hardest part, disciplining your mind to love exercise. there are people out there who love to exercise, but they are already thin for the most part. i dont know too many fat, chubby people who like to do crunches or jog a few miles. exercise is not fun. but it essential. i have to make it essential again. years ago i was doing so well, i was so thin and fit, i could compete with others in basketball and not feel like i was going to have a heart attack on the court. i felt great back then. i want to feel that way again. it's not going to be easy, but it's possible, it just depends on how much i make myself believe that. and she doesn't help too much. i dont mean that in a bad way, but she says she likes me the way i am, which is great. but i know i can be better, i know i can be what I want to be. and I'm sure she will like me even more then. if not, then she can make me tons of food and get me fat again.
learn spanish: this is the highest priority. this should have been the first one. i have family in mexico i can't even speak to because i don't speak spanish. i have her, and her sister (who speaks good english) and her mom and her dad. her mom understands english and can speak it quite well, but i wish i could speak with her in spanish. her dad doesn't speak any english. we know each other, we get along good, and are friends, but we are strangers. he knows only what i can grunt and point at. how do i say i love your daughter using grunts and points? i fear he would think i'm insulting me and sick the saber tooth tiger on me. i need to learn, i have no choice. i've attempted before, but i need to learn now. i need to get over this stupid fear i have. fear that I will sound stupid, that she will laugh when i try to speak. but she will laugh, but it will be because of joy. i know this. if i learned spanish you would have to pick her up off the floor because she wouldn't believe it. i feel selfish for that. she tries so hard to understand, she asks me questions and wants me to tutor her in my language. and it seems i have no interest whatsoever of hers. but i have to realize it's mine too. i speak it everyday. i even think in spanish on occasion. when something happens the first word that comes to my mind and out of my out is in spanish. i know i have it in me. it's the luangage of my mother. it's where's she's from, what she knew growing up. i feel guilty for not learning, because I know she would have wanted me too. i can't even speak much with my own grandma because of the language barrier. can u imagine if i me and her get married? i need to learn, no i HAVE to learn. no exception on this one.
well those are all i can think about tonight. so many things i want to do though. hopefully if all things go well (which is a fat chance) i will. goodnight to all out there.
Friday, January 07, 2005
the long drive home
well here i am in houston. i came here for a possible job opportunity and that is still yet to develope. i also came here because of her. i missed her. i wanted to see her, i wanted to have her near. it's gotten to a point that I don't even want to go a couple days without seeing her. I have no idea how we used to go months and months without seeing each other. I guess when she's in mexico it's somehow easier. I know she is far away and she knows I am far away and we just deal with it. but now she is in houston, only 3 hours away by car, it's just killer. it's so hard to not want to drive here every weekend and have that time with her. and it's such a horrid feeling. when i drop her off at work, and I know it's the goodbye. always the goodbye. we were talking his morning at breakfast i was telling her i don't like saying goodbye to her. seems like I've said goodbye to her more than anyone else in my life. the one person that I want to spend the most time with, is the person I get to spend the least time with. the one person that I never want to say goodbye too, is the person that I say goodbye to the most. and it's a horrible feeling. knowing I have to keep saying those words. it's such a empty feeling in me now. such a hollow, void emotion. its almost like the hulk. when im with her, i feel great, strong, and proud. and when she leaves, i shrink back to who i really am. just a nerdy, goofy loner. now i have the long drive home to think about the time. to dwell on everything i said wrong, to look back and learn from an mistakes I made with her. so i don't do them again. how i miss her, i really do. it pulls at my heart, it grabs it and twists. i hate leaving her. i hate it that we have to be apart right now. i hate that most of all.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
welcome to 2005
well here i am. unemployed, nappy haired, unshaven with a beard and my mouth still sore from the beating it took on thursday. 4 wisdom, and 1 molar (moller?) they removed from me. i honestly dont remember much, just getting to the dentist's office, taking some pills and feeling a bit drowsy. then one of the girls called me in and walked me over to the dentist's chair. i felt a bit dizzy, but otherwise ok. i remember her saying "man your a big guy, I don't know who's going to carry you out." Big guy? well considering she was like 5'2" or 5'3", then yeah i guess i was a big guy. she sat me down on the chair, turned off the lights and got me a blanket. i seem to remember her carrying a baby. a baby? a baby in a dentist's office? in my blur, i remember her explaining she was babysitting. i guess she just did that, she made sure people's children were ok while they underwent their dental work. i remember them reclining the chair, putting the mask over my mouth nose, and them telling me to take deep breaths. i remember taking a few, then that was it. i was out.
i remember hearing faintly the sound that wood makes when it's being broken. the splintering sound as it cracks. I realized in my drugged state that that was my tooth they were pulling away. i felt no pain.
i woke up to a nurse telling me it was over. they had a wheelchair (that was their solution to carrying me) and i flopped onto the wheelchair. after this i remember even less. i dont remember leaving, i dont remember the drive, i don't remember anything. the next memory i have is waking up at leti's house on the couch. they woke me up because i had my head down and i was spilling blood out of my mouth onto my shirt. i remember that night trying to take my pills, which i had a very hard time doing. i looked in the mirror, my mouth red with blood and gauze. i remember leaving and coming here to my sister's house. that night i slept in a chair because they said i couldn't lay flat. i hate sleeping in chairs, but i was too out of it to know. yesterday i used the last of my gauze as the bleeding stopped. i can't eat anything hard, so my lunch and dinner consisted of mashed potatoes and mac and cheese that my brother brought me from KFC. i welcomed 2005 while sitting on a chair, drugged up with gums swollen and stitched. joy.
about 2 am i felt i needed to get out, and my brother wanted a candy bar. i wasnt drugged or drowsy, so i got in my car and went up to the corner store. it was closed. so i continued on to another corner store. on the way back i saw what i didn't want to see. i was waiting to turn left at the light, the second car behind a XTerra. The light turned green and the cars (there was quite a lot of cars for being 2 am) on the oncoming traffic started to cross. first in line was a dark ford explorer. as she made her way into the intersection, another car, and dark older camry was turning onto the same road, on the inside lane. business as usual. within a second though, and white buick, or older car came through the intersection. i don't know if this person was drunk or if they seriously thought they were going to beat the light, but the slammed into the explorer on the driver's side. they were going atleast 80. he hit the woman in the explorer so hard, she spun twice and hit the camry who was turning. the ford's side was completley smashed, the front ripped off and two tires totally torn off. The camry was scrapped and smashed on the side, with the glass broken. The man got out, his hand bleeding and wounds to the face. the woman stayed in her explorer, she looked ok, but she wasn't moving. i saw her get her cell phone out, so i knew she was alive. the white car was totalled. the hood was completely smashed in towards the dash and all the tires were blown. the back suffered quite a bit of damage also, due to the impact. bumpers and glass lay all over the intersection. the people in the Xterra ahead of me got out, and tried to help. they called the police and they and a ambulance and a fire truck were there very soon after. a cop asked us if we were hurt and we said no, and he asked us to leave. he said they had other witnesses and didn't need for us to tell them what happened. i dont know if the person in the white car lived. i don't see how they could have. hopefully they did. before we left i remember the guy in the Xterra asking me "did you go anywhere tonight?" i said no, explained to him i had stitches in my mouth, and that my brother wanted a candy bar. i left in a sort of shock, just seeing that happen before my eyes. i got back, explained to my brother, and gave him his candy bar.
i woke up at 12 today. i actually slept on the couch this time. the bleeding has seemed to have stopped altogether. i feel better, but still can't eat much. can't drink soda. only soft things, and only water.
so it's a new day, a new year, and it's starting out just how i thought.
i remember hearing faintly the sound that wood makes when it's being broken. the splintering sound as it cracks. I realized in my drugged state that that was my tooth they were pulling away. i felt no pain.
i woke up to a nurse telling me it was over. they had a wheelchair (that was their solution to carrying me) and i flopped onto the wheelchair. after this i remember even less. i dont remember leaving, i dont remember the drive, i don't remember anything. the next memory i have is waking up at leti's house on the couch. they woke me up because i had my head down and i was spilling blood out of my mouth onto my shirt. i remember that night trying to take my pills, which i had a very hard time doing. i looked in the mirror, my mouth red with blood and gauze. i remember leaving and coming here to my sister's house. that night i slept in a chair because they said i couldn't lay flat. i hate sleeping in chairs, but i was too out of it to know. yesterday i used the last of my gauze as the bleeding stopped. i can't eat anything hard, so my lunch and dinner consisted of mashed potatoes and mac and cheese that my brother brought me from KFC. i welcomed 2005 while sitting on a chair, drugged up with gums swollen and stitched. joy.
about 2 am i felt i needed to get out, and my brother wanted a candy bar. i wasnt drugged or drowsy, so i got in my car and went up to the corner store. it was closed. so i continued on to another corner store. on the way back i saw what i didn't want to see. i was waiting to turn left at the light, the second car behind a XTerra. The light turned green and the cars (there was quite a lot of cars for being 2 am) on the oncoming traffic started to cross. first in line was a dark ford explorer. as she made her way into the intersection, another car, and dark older camry was turning onto the same road, on the inside lane. business as usual. within a second though, and white buick, or older car came through the intersection. i don't know if this person was drunk or if they seriously thought they were going to beat the light, but the slammed into the explorer on the driver's side. they were going atleast 80. he hit the woman in the explorer so hard, she spun twice and hit the camry who was turning. the ford's side was completley smashed, the front ripped off and two tires totally torn off. The camry was scrapped and smashed on the side, with the glass broken. The man got out, his hand bleeding and wounds to the face. the woman stayed in her explorer, she looked ok, but she wasn't moving. i saw her get her cell phone out, so i knew she was alive. the white car was totalled. the hood was completely smashed in towards the dash and all the tires were blown. the back suffered quite a bit of damage also, due to the impact. bumpers and glass lay all over the intersection. the people in the Xterra ahead of me got out, and tried to help. they called the police and they and a ambulance and a fire truck were there very soon after. a cop asked us if we were hurt and we said no, and he asked us to leave. he said they had other witnesses and didn't need for us to tell them what happened. i dont know if the person in the white car lived. i don't see how they could have. hopefully they did. before we left i remember the guy in the Xterra asking me "did you go anywhere tonight?" i said no, explained to him i had stitches in my mouth, and that my brother wanted a candy bar. i left in a sort of shock, just seeing that happen before my eyes. i got back, explained to my brother, and gave him his candy bar.
i woke up at 12 today. i actually slept on the couch this time. the bleeding has seemed to have stopped altogether. i feel better, but still can't eat much. can't drink soda. only soft things, and only water.
so it's a new day, a new year, and it's starting out just how i thought.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)